I have to admit that I am not the biggest horror fan, since I am never able to find a horror book that appeals to me, but this one drew me in. When I found this novel in a bookstore and read the summary, I knew that I had to give it a shot. I am so glad that I did, as I ended up loving it.

“I don’t care how dark the world is for you. I’ll hold out my hand until you find it, and I won’t let go.” 

Premise of the book:

Andrew, a senior in high school, is a person who struggles deeply with severe anxiety. There seems to be only one person who can ground Andrew: his best friend, Thomas Rye. These friends seem inseparable. Andrew loves to write dark fairy tales, while Thomas loves to draw Andrew’s creations.

Andrew hopes that his last year of high school at Wickwood is a good one. However, the school sets off with a wonky start when Andrew notices that Thomas’ behavior is off. He seems more paranoid than usual; he isn’t drawing, he’s jumpy, and his parents seem to have disappeared. 

When Andrew snoops around a little deeper, he finds Thomas fighting off monsters right outside the school grounds, in the forest. It seems like Thomas’ drawings have come to life. In order to protect their academy, Andrew and Thomas team up to fend off the monsters from the school. Yet, as Andrew and Thomas grow closer, the monsters only seem to become more prominent and more dangerous. Can Andrew and Thomas survive through each night, or will the monsters take over? 

“It was strange, Andrew thought, how when something moved in the dark, everyone’s first instinct was to go inside and hide under the covers. As if monsters couldn’t open doors and crawl into bed with you.” 

Pros/positives:

*Characters*

always toThe main character, Andrew, was one of the biggest unreliable narrators that I’ve read in a while. It was very, very jarring in the best possible way. I’ve gotten way too comfortable just believing everything that any main character thinks. This book reminded me not to always think that.

I also really appreciated how Andrew’s character is super complex. He was so enticing in so many ways. I haven’t really read about a character with severe anxiety. Too often, characters in stories are super outgoing and willing to talk to anyone, but Andrew was introverted. I could understand his feelings about the stress of having to talk to new people. He always second-guessed what he said, if he said anything at all, as he tended to stray from interacting with others. I liked how Andrew wasn’t ‘normal’. He thought things that made the readers question him. Like when Andrew thought about his obsession with Thomas. He’d constantly think about whether they merged into one. It was weird, but in such a raw way.

Thomas was another character who caught my attention due to his declining mental health. While Andrew’s mental health was also not doing well, we could at least see what Andrew was thinking. We couldn’t see Thomas’ thoughts, only his reactions. The reader could notice Thomas’ lack of sleep or the cuts he’d get from fighting the monsters, but we only get to watch as he grows worse. I think not getting Thomas’ thought process made me interested in reading more about him, as I never truly knew what he was feeling in each moment. I never knew when he would snap.

One of my favorite side characters was Dove. I can’t put into words how much I enjoyed how Dove actually cared for Andrew, who is her brother. In the beginning, I thought it would be the classic trope of two siblings hating each other because they are so different from one another, but that wasn’t the case. The more you read this story, the more you realize how deeply these siblings care for one another. Dove was always looking out for Andrew, and she always made sure he was comfortable, but she had her own social circle. It showed that two siblings can care for one another while also being their own person.

*Romance*

Andrew’s relationship with Thomas was very enthralling. Their unhealthy reliance on one another led to a complicated connection that was carried throughout the book. It was as if they completed each other, but also destroyed one another. Every time Andrew and Thomas fought with one another, they’d both have a huge drop in their already-bad health, because they literally needed each other. They are so attached that when Thomas was getting brought to the principal’s office for questioning, he literally asked Andrew: “Come with me?” (19), as if Andrew could have actually gone. If Andrew could have, though, he would have. 

While they were practically attached at the hip at the beginning of the story, their obsession with each other only grew more, which was intriguing to read. I never knew where their relationship would go next, due to their care for each other causing harsh arguments between them. It kept me on my toes.

*Good diversity*

This book has a very diverse cast, specifically in terms of sexuality. For example, Andrew is asexual. This is the first asexual main character I’ve ever seen in a book, which was a nice change. It added an extra layer of learning for me. 

There was also Thomas, who was queer, but he was never labeled. Lana, an Asian American, is also a lesbian. It was nice to see this book have some LGBTQIA+ representation.

*Ending/plot twist*

The plot twist literally left me speechless. I never would have seen it coming, even if you put it right in front of my face. However, it was the type of plot twist where once you read it, so much more of the book made sense. After I learned of the plot twist, all of the hints the author was giving the reader throughout the book became so much more apparent. That is one of my favorite plot twists. 

The ending itself was also very satisfying for me. The plot twist happened near the very end, but the final chapter of the book was memorable for me.

*Stylistic choices*

While I find that I don’t normally enjoy horror books, I was absolutely enchanted by the author’s choice to weave botanical elements into the novel. The psychological element mixed very well with the botanical feeling of the book. 

I must admit that my favorite part of this book was the drawings. Whenever I would struggle to visualize one of the monsters, I would turn the page, and the monster would be staring right at me. The art style that Jana Heidersdorf (the artist) had fit the book impeccably. I can’t put into words how perfect they were. The designs were breathtakingly horrific. The examples of Andrew’s stories were also amazing, it’s just that I expected those more than I did the drawings. The stories gave a good sample of what Andrew’s stories are usually like.

“To cut out his heart was actually such a small thing.” 

Cons/negatives: 

*Issues with the plot*

The major downside of this book is that the middle part felt a little repetitive. The plot would just go through the same step over and over. Andrew and Thomas would kill monsters, one or both of them would have a panic attack, they’d interact with someone else, and then repeat. Sometimes the steps would be in a different order, but I still stand by the fact that it felt like the plot was moving in circles. 

In a similar sense, the plot also felt slow at times due to its repetition. While the sense of uneasiness would stay, the plot itself would take no steps forward.

*Lack of police*

This is kind of nitpicking, depending on who you are as a reader, but there wasn’t nearly enough from the police. Like, Thomas was the main suspect in his parents’ death (literally no other suspects), but the police disappeared after questioning him lightly once. Is there no such thing as a follow-up? Investigation??? Or, maybe, letting Thomas know what will happen next now that his main guardians are dead…

Not only that, but HOW did Andrew and Thomas not get arrested for any of the other deaths that happened? It’s not like they actually killed any of the characters, but both of their bloods (aka DNA) were left at many different crime scenes throughout the book. There’s no way the police didn’t catch this. I’m just saying, logistically, this book wasn’t the most accurate.

“But he didn’t know what part of himself was safe to hold on to.” 

Conclusion: 

Pros – Characters, romance, good diversity, ending/plot twist, stylistic choices

Cons – Issues with the plot, lack of police

Overall – 4.15 out of 5

“I’m scared of everything except the dark.”